...words...

Over and over again, the same line from one side to the other. Letter by letter, over and over again. I read it once, I read it twice, Im gonna read it again if I have to.
I see an inner pain. Like a painful reminder that you don't wan't do it again...but what I can't tell.
Over and over again, just some lines on a paper. I say the words out loud, speek them quietly to myself. I pull them apart, investigate them. Take it down piece by piece to try and figure out. Try to reorganize for another purpose. I try to make it into something it's not. Try to hide what's behind it. I read the word again, word for word, over and over again. From one side to the other. My attempts are useless. Can't transform them. They are all still the same.
*
I have a hunger, a need to feel something real. I need to feel that I'm alive. If not, I might think I'm already dead. I have a hunger to bleed. My lungs need to be able to scream. Sometimes I forget to breath. Forget to see what I really need. I know what I need, just don't know how to feed. I want to balance on the edge. Stretch my arms out and do a turn. Just to try. See if I can make it. Am I gonna fall or are you gonna call? If I stand on only one leg, will the wind catch me then? If I close my eyes, will I fall then? I need to feel that I'm alive. I need to feel that I can die.
*
Can you tell my ghost aren't yet fully defeated? That my mind is overheated. Can you see how I'm hurting underneath? How I'm quietly begging you: please! I know what might could happend. I know what risks I take by letting myself feel. By compromising my heal. But my longing to feel is too real. I have an inner pain and a control to gain. This is my game to play
*






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Postat av: Madde

Jag lyssnar på det mesta ;) Förutom sån där... konstig musik.. :)

2009-08-31 @ 21:50:48
URL: http://lattelen.blogg.se/

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